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Finding Your Calm – Emotional Noticing

By WendyTurnerLarsenAdmin on April 20, 2020 in Leadership, Life, Stress

Finding your Calm in Chaos – Emotional Noticing

Finding your calm. Right now. Here. In the world you live in now, may not be easy. It may not even be a realistic goal. But the worldwide events and how these are impacting you, may be an invitation to deepen into yourself. Take care of yourself. Maybe for the first time. Maybe a return to this. Finally.

I am a big proponent of emotional self care, emotional awareness, emotional noticing. The reason being, that we avoid how we feel and often judge harshly any feeling that does not fit into what we think we should be feeling. And there you have it. It stops there. Something happens or is happening .You feel something about it. And then you stop the feeling. That’s kind of soul crushing.

We have this collective anxiety going on. What you feel may be yours and may be what is going on around you. So…..

Be. Gentle.

Go easy on yourself.
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Most of us know what we need to do but we don’t do it. Even the idea of be gentle, go easy on yourself, which is being incredibly self compassionate, may not be our first go to. Our first go to may be to scold ourselves. Get over this. And get over it quickly. Others have it worse. It’s not a big deal. Don’t feel. That’s weak. Push through.

Be. Gentle.

Go easy on yourself.

Feel what you feel. Allow it. You may be more irritable, more tired, more hungry, more overwhelmed, more anxious, more sad, more of a lot of things.

Practice emotional noticing. Notice. Feel. Breathe into it. Pause. Just be.

Rewire Your Brain For Success

By WendyTurnerLarsenAdmin on February 10, 2017 in Coaching, Leadership, Stress

Think. Feel. Eat.

Think. What you think affects your brain. Your thoughts and beliefs are powerful. They create your reality. Your thoughts even affect your physiology, so keep them focused on gratitude, what you do want, not what you don’t want. As a certified hypnotherapist, I help my clients shift out of limiting beliefs so they can get unstuck, out of downward cycles to experience well-being, focused thinking, and increased self confidence.

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Feel. What you feel affects your brain. Address your emotional state. Be aware. Emotions follow thought. What you believe affects what you feel. Connect with how you feel. Don’t stuff, ignore or minimize. Keeping yourself in a negative emotional state, is largely due to focusing on the external problem rather than feeling what you feel and taking responsibility for what you feel. We often stay stuck in our heads, our thoughts, rather than just feeling.
Eat. What you eat affects your brain. As a brain coach, I am trained in a specialized area known as Neuronutrient Therapy, brain nutrition in other words. I work with my clients to address brain chemistry deficiency through nutrition. For example. the amino acid, 5-HTP is a nutrient that has been shown to boost serotonin (yes, there is science to support this claim). This is important. Low serotonin can lead to a multitude of struggles and is linked to depression, anxiety, rigid thinking, irritability, poor sleep, sugar cravings and more. When serotonin is boosted with 5-HTP, the brain or neurotransmitters often work better. Proper levels of serotonin are related to an overall sense of well being, emotional flexibility, positive thinking, improved sleep and sometimes even confidence improves.

5 Reasons to Practice Active Listening

By WendyTurnerLarsenAdmin on January 13, 2017 in Coaching, Leadership, Life, Stress

Relationships are everything. You don’t live or work in isolation. Active listening, you know that kind of listening where you’re really ‘with’ another, where you are present, where you hear what they are saying at a deeper level, this is ‘active’ listening.

5 Reasons to Practice Active Listening

Active listening connects you more deeply with others. Sometimes it may feel like a soul to soul connection.
Active listening helps you understand what is beneath the surface of the words, the body language, and the nonverbals. It helps you understand what others are ‘really’ saying.

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Active listening may lead to increased productivity. If you really listen, you are more likely to understand. If you understand the issue or problem, the solution can then be focused (on the real issue) and you and others can get onto action. Lots of people think active listening takes too long, is too cumbersome and has no real benefit in the workplace. To the contrary, when one really listens, the issue is clarified more quickly!
Active listening reduces tension. When people feel heard, they feel understood and tension decreases. They feel more level and you can then get onto problem solving if necessary. Where there is tension, there are feelings. Where there are feelings, the feelings are front and center and logic can go out the window. Active listening helps face and sometimes even resolve the feelings.
Active listening reduces your stress as the listener. Active listening requires presence. It gets you out of your head as you are present with another. Presence reduces stress.

De-Stress for Women

By WendyTurnerLarsenAdmin on October 20, 2016 in Stress

*Relax regularly:

Take time to slow down ‘every day’ especially when life is more hectic. Find a quiet spot, close your eyes, and take some slow deep breaths, inhaling and exhaling evenly for even just a few minutes. Research shows that slowing down, pausing and taking in just 6 deep breaths (doing this even once a day) has tremendous health benefits and helps reduce stress.

Conscious breathing, being aware of your breathing is a powerful meditation all on its own: Follow your breath with your attention as it moves in and out of your body. Breathe into your body and feel your abdomen expanding and contracting slightly as you inhale and then as you exhale. Notice how your breath feels on the back of your throat as you inhale and exhale. Pay attention to your breath, and imaging the oxygen, fresh air you are breathing in, going into every cell of your body.

*Get enough rest:

Without adequate sleep on an ongoing basis, and sleep that is restorative and uninterrupted, your cortisol levels rise, making it more difficult for you to fully rest, or to manage daily stressors. Cortisol also suppresses your immune system making you more susceptible to flu, cold and disease.

*Manage your fears:

Fear is a primary cause of stress, anxiety, worry and feeling overwhelmed. Fear of loss, fear of failure, fear of being hurt, fear of not measuring up, fear of not having enough time contributes to physical, mental and emotional stress. Fear keeps our attention in the past or in the future which impedes calmness:

When you meditate or pay attention to your breathing, you are aware of the present moment and focused on your body which takes you out of your worrying mind.
When you completely accept what is, you are able to let go mentally, and stop resisting the issue or problem. Anxiety and stress decreases as a result and you are more able to relax. Not easy to do, nevertheless it works.

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*Stay Positive:

Research shows that a positive outlook on life boosts your immune system. Think about what you are grateful for and write it down. Practice thinking about 5 things you are grateful for each morning and then each evening before you fall asleep. Think about what you do well, your positive attributes, characteristics, and accomplishments. Women tend to focus on what they are not able to do, their lack, instead of their worth.

*Get Connected:

Find and maintain a supportive network of friends that suits your personality and your needs. Seek support when dealing with difficult events or challenges. Avoid or remove yourself from toxic and ongoing situations (i.e. bad relationships—work and home) as much as possible.

Feeling Stuck? It’s normal!

By WendyTurnerLarsenAdmin on August 30, 2016 in Life, Stress

Acceptance of the ‘stuckness’ closes the gap to resistance.

It’s hard to keep up. It’s hard to keep going with enthusiasm and passion. Others seem to be starting something new, doing something exciting, moving ahead, following their dreams. Blah blah blah (what the voice in my head is really saying because it’s so darn annoying seeing every one else moving along with apparent ease). Feeling stuck is all part of the ebb and flow of the journey. Once you realize how normal this is, how normal it is to feel stuck at times, to feel like doing nothing, to feel like giving up on your dreams, to not want to do anything to move yourself forward, you are on the path to becoming ‘unstuck.’ Acceptance of the ‘stuckness’ closes the gap to resistance. Feeling stuck and then hating yourself for feeling stuck keeps you stuck! It’s okay. It’s normal. It’s impossible to keep yourself at a high level of enthusiasm and growth. And perhaps, you’re not really stuck. Perhaps you are tired and need to rest, relax and rejuvenate and stop thinking of what’s next and what you ‘think’ you have to do. Even taking time out from dreaming, thinking about your passions or goals is important. The answer to keep moving forward is to accept the ‘stuckness’ and whatever the stuckness is about. The more you focus on the ‘stuckness’ the more it persists. These times don’t mean anything really other than you are normal.

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Dare to be You!

By WendyTurnerLarsenAdmin on July 18, 2016 in Coaching

Dare to be you

Dare to be yourself–not being someone you’re not; being everything you are.

Imagine not feeling pressured, stressed, guilty or driven to live out of constant obligation to please or perform. When truly ourselves, we live the life we want to live. Being yourself frees you from pressure to be something you’re not, frees you from doing something you don’t want to do, frees you from making choices that are not you and allows you to live more freely. This freedom, freedom to be yourself, brings joy, calm and instills peace. Choices come from a place of freedom, instead of ‘shoulds’, ‘guilt’, and ‘obligation’. As a result, many of us would not be living the high pressured, frenzied busy life that erodes joy, peace or even happiness, and promotes stress, anger, resentment, worry, anxiety and burnout. When we do not allow ourselves to be who we truly are, we pursue value externally—from doing, identity at work, as a leader, identity as a parent, coach, friend, partner, from performing and from over-giving; maybe even martyrdom. Losing oneself is the consequence along with a rat wheel life that we had no intention of living. We then ask ourselves, “how did I get here? This isn’t what I wanted!”

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Ask yourself—where in your life are you not being you, giving into pressure, expectations and obligations that aren’t you, that don’t give you life? Are you daring to be yourself at your job, in your relationships or are you trying too hard to be something or someone you’re not. Ask yourself—what people, situations, things, dreams, and goals give life to you? Follow those. Dare to be yourself– not being someone you’re not but being everything you are. Dare to live the life that is truly you!

5 Things Resilient Leaders Do

By afreshchick on May 31, 2016 in Leadership

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Resilient people take care of themselves. They get enough rest. They don’t over-do. They set boundaries and say no. They realize that doing more does not equal greater self-value.
Resilient people acknowledge and deal with emotions. They don’t stuff and they don’t over react. If they do, they take responsibility. They have a wide range of strategies to address emotions and they are fearless at facing their experiences, including how they feel.
Resilient people are solution focused. They are creative and look for alternate solutions, particularly during stressful and challenging times. If they feel stuck, they look for a way out and plan.
Resilient people deal with conflict early. They don’t let it build up. They have strategies to engage in difficult conversations with others and recognize how they feel and how the other person feels is critically important when having these discussions.
Lastly, resilient people are self-compassionate and avoid self-judgment. They don’t motivate themselves with harsh words, criticism or perfectionism. They accept failures and move on.